


Generous

by A_Wayward_Spider (Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball)



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: A little Norse mythology, A little seriousness, F/M, Goblins also love pop culture and memes, Goblins love curse words, Jareth has a mom?, Jareth in denial, Mostly funny, Pissed off Hoggle, Silly goblins, Wayward Magic, a little romance, a lot of romance, general silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2019-09-29 03:53:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17196008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheap_Plastic_Bouncy_Ball/pseuds/A_Wayward_Spider
Summary: Sarah does not trust Jareth, but what is she supposed to do when he pops up in her life ten years later and tells her the rules of the labyrinth require him to get married and he has no choice but to marry her? Is he trying to get revenge for having been defeated?





	1. Chapter 1

  
Sarah Williams looked out into the crowd, making firm eye contact with her audience as she spoke. "Fear me! Love me! Do as I say, and I will be your slave," she chanted, watching with no small amount of dismay as the men, as well as the women, seemed to melt at her words.

"How many people have fallen for such seductive lies spoken so smoothly by their abusers?" She continued as the people in the chairs shifted uncomfortably. "He, or she, tells you that you should be grateful for the trials they have put you though. They have been generous. They are exhausted from living up to your expectations of them."

She clenched her hands into tight fists as she continued to scan the room. "At the bottom of his pretty promises, you will find nothing by misery. You will become his slave, at his beck and call. Another servant in a long line of minions! Stand up for yourself. You do not owe anyone yourself worth."

Jareth, sitting in the far back corner, amongst the shadows with his arms folded over his chest snorted so loudly that the three women sitting beside him turned to look at him in surprise. They opened their mouths as they gave him a wide-eyed look, but with a flick of his fingers, he turned their attention back to the stage and continued to seeth inside as the crowd burst into a standing ovation after Sarah's speech.

He stalked along the edge of the crowd, clinging to the shadows as the auditorium emptied. A large group of people had made their way to the stage and were clamoring to speak with Sarah, to give her congratulations for the talk she had given them, compliment her, ask her to autograph her book, and shower her with admiration. Jareth wanted to turn them all into statues or gnomes or some other such creatures.

He continued to move along the edge of the crowd until it was thinned out enough so he could see her clearly. Her hair, which he knew was like a curtain of the finest dark silk, was pulled back into what he felt was too severe a bun; though it highlighted the bone structure of her pale face perfectly. Her eyes, green and filled with fire were bright with a mirth he had never seen in her before as she directed her beautiful smile at each of her fans. He ground his teeth as the thinning crowd brought him closer and closer.

  
"Thank you for coming," she said as she clasped hands with the second to last person in line then turned to him without quite looking. He waited patiently for the few brief moments it took to gain her full attention though each second felt like an eternity. He used that time to call every last drop of his magic into himself as he stared at her through his weird bi-colored eyes.

When she finally gave him her attention he was more than ready for a widening of her eyes, a gasp of her sweetly parted lips, or maybe a step back in fear of the power ebbing from him, but no instead he was greeted with a sly smile, narrowed eyes, and amused chuckle that completely and utterly disarmed him. Damn her!

  
Jareth clenched his jaw in irritation as he struggled to hold on to his composure as his magic, that had always loved and worshiped him alone, abandoned him to swirl around her in delight, leaving him slightly diminished in his glamour.

"If I had known invoking your words could draw you out of your little underground," Sarah began as his magic lit her eyes and added music to her voice. "I would have been more circumspect in using them."

Jareth lifted his chin and looked down at her as he willed his traitorous magic back to him. It resisted and pulled but finally relented, slightly. "Oh, Precious," he said in a low rumble. "How could you not have known?"

Sarah shrugged one shoulder as she slung her bag over her shoulder. "I thought you had vanished to lick your wounds," she told him as she began walking away, leaving Jareth to gape after her.

"After all, I did defeat you," she called over her shoulder then dared to laugh and turn her back to him.

"Do not walk away from me!" Jareth growled as he stalked after her. She laughed again, and the sound pierced his soul like well-aimed arrows.

Sarah didn't turn as she walked from the auditorium. She nodded to people who greeted her then said without turning. "What has it been? Ten years?"

"You sound angry," Jareth teased. "Did I leave you feeling abandoned?"

Sarah chuckled and shook her head. "Didn't you read my book? Listen to my talk? You left me feeling empowered, not abandoned."

  
"Be that as it may," Jareth continued. "I never left you, Sarah. I have been with you all along." And finally, he had what he wanted. She was off guard, though only for a moment, not long enough for him to take advantage. Curse her!

"Right," Sarah said in amusement. "Because one young girl is so important to the goblin king that he wastes his time with her simple, mortal life."

"You are hardly simple, Sarah," Jareth replied. "And I promise I have been watching over you."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Like a guardian angel? I don't believe it."

Jareth narrowed his eyes at her. "Remember that night? Your first college party? All the drinks that boy kept giving you? Do you remember Sarah?"

"Andrew Paulson," Sarah said as she pulled sour expression. "I remember him well. He tried to get me drunk and kiss me. I pushed him away and went home. He never spoke to me again after that." Jareth hummed in agreement as he nodded his head.

"And he followed you home, Precious," Jareth said, and Sarah stopped walking and turned to him.

"My name is Sarah," she told him as she gave him a dirty look and continued on her way.

"But I stopped him," Jareth continued as he followed, feeling too much like a puppy eager for attention from its master. "And sent him on his way with a warning."

Sarah stopped walking and sighed. "Don't you have anything better to do, Jareth? A kingdom to run? Goblins to torment? Children to steal?"

Jareth smirked at Sarah's irritation. "Nothing is better than tormenting you, Sarah," he told her in a low voice what would have turned any other woman into a puddle of goo at his feet. But his Sarah was no mere woman. She was the champion of the Labyrinth, and perhaps his heart if he were willing to admit it, which he wasn't. Damn her!

"Well, I do have better things to do," she told him and began to talk faster.

  
"Dinner alone in your apartment with only a grumpy dwarf for company?" Jareth asked, and Sarah turned on him.

  
"You," she said as she jabbed his chest with her index finger. "Do not have permission to spy on me."

  
Jareth grabbed her hand and pressed it against his chest. "I don't spy on you." Sarah pulled her hand from his and gave it a shake as if to expel his germs. "Unless you count sweet, stupid, trusting Ludo as a spy."

  
Sarah sighed. "Enough. I am not going to play your game anymore. Tell me what you want, then leave."

  
Jareth's pointy grin finally unnerved her as he looked her up and down like she was a tasty meal and he hadn't eaten in years. "What I want?" he asked slowly his eyes glimmered with mischief.

  
"Yes," Sarah answered her patience, depleted. "What do you want, Jareth?"

  
"What I have always wanted," Jareth told her as he dropped all pretense. "You."

  
"Ha!" Sarah laughed as she turned and started walking away. "Go back to the hell from whence you came."

  
Jareth winced and put his hand on his heart before he followed her. "Barring that," he called as he followed. "I would settle for dinner." Sarah stopped in her tracks so suddenly that Jareth almost ran into her, almost if not for his magic, which made it clear that it loyalty lay with her rather than him. He was irritated that it denied him the pleasure he might have gained from the accidental press of his body against hers.

  
"Dinner?" she asked as she looked him up and down. "With you looking like you stepped out of some cheap fantasy role play?"

  
"Cheap?" Jareth asked as he spread his arms. He wore the finest fawn skin boots, leggings and tunic, dyed an impossibly dark shade of black. His iridescent black cape was made from dragon wings, embellished with their claws. His jewels were real and very rare set in precious platinum and gold. There was nothing cheap about him.

  
"It's the glitter," Sarah told him as she followed his train of thought. "The tons of glitter in your hair, your skin, the air around you."

  
Jareth threw back his head and laughed. Little did she know that the glitter she disparaged was clinging to her hair, clothes, and more importantly, her skin too. "It's not glitter, My love," he told her indulgently. "It's magic."

  
"I would never have taken you for someone so vain," Sarah continued as she pretended to brush glitter from her hands. "But the glitter. No restaurant will allow you in like that."

  
"No one can see the "glitter" but you," Jareth told her as he took her arm and walked them toward a window and pointed at their reflection. Sarah looked and saw she was not standing beside the flamboyantly dressed goblin king as she knew him, but an almost normal looking man in a black suit with a black shirt and tie beneath his tailored blazer. His wild hair was slicked back, making him look suave- Almost suave, she amended.

  
"And you're buying?" Sarah asked as she arched one eyebrow at him.

  
"As I issued the invitation, yes," he answered with amusement.

  
"Here in the city and not some weird magical location?" Sarah asked as she arched an eyebrow at him. He wanted to trace his fingers along the line of that eyebrow. Curse her!

  
Jareth smiled his pointy goblin king smile. "Yes, here in your earthbound city. Anywhere you would like."

  
"You look like a shark when you do that," Sarah told him as she started walking. Jareth raised his eyebrows and followed her until they reached a small restaurant with a long wait. With a flick of Jareth's fingers behind Sarah's back along with a plethora of golden glitter that long wait became very short.

  
Sarah didn't comment when they were immediately seated. Instead, she turned her attention to the menu and eyed the most expensive items as the waiter approached to take their drink order.

  
She said nothing as Jareth ordered a mid-priced bottle of wine then smiled as the waiter walked away. "I thought you would order the most expensive bottle they have in the house," she told him.

  
"I am no fool, Sarah," Jareth told her as he folded his napkin in his lap. "I do understand quality over flash." Sarah's only response was to give him a fake smile then direct her attention back to her menu with a sigh.

  
"Order anything you'd like," Jareth told her. "I am well equipped." Sarah looked at him over the menu in amusement.

  
"Well equipped with what?" she asked then felt herself flush with embarrassment at what her question implied. "A gun to rob the place? Or is a sword more your style?"

  
"Human world currency," Jareth answered as he lifted his chin proudly. "And I assure you it is your country's currency and isn't too terribly old."

  
Sarah took a deep breath as she shook her head and looked at the menu again. When the waiter arrived, she let go of her desire to order the most expensive item on the menu as foie gras, and trendy beef wasn't her style. Though apparently, Jareth's pallet was far richer than Sarah's as he ordered the most expensive seafood from the menu with an easy smile at the waiter who seemed to blossom under Jareth's gaze.

  
"So," Sarah said as she sat back and traced her finger along the rim of her glass. "What is all this about?"

  
Jareth, whose hands were folded on the table, smiled at her as he tilted his head to the side. "What is what all about, Love?"

  
"This," Sarah answered as she gestured around her. "Not just dinner but you suddenly showing up after ten years of nothing. What do you want?"

  
Jareth's smile didn't change, nor did he blink as he took in Sarah's question. "I told you what I wanted. My aim in the same as it was ten years ago."

  
"Toby is eleven years old now," Sarah said as she narrowed her eyes at Jareth.

  
"It was never Toby I was after," Jareth told her as he held Sarah's gaze.

  
"Then what was all that about?" Sarah asked. "The Labyrinth? The Peaches? The clock? It was about getting Toby back. Which by the way, I never wanted you to take him. There has to have been some rule you broke there, and I think I am owed some sort of restitution for all you put me through."

  
Jareth leaned back in his seat and narrowed his eyes. "Your request was legitimate, or the magic would not have worked. I hope you have since learned to be careful what you wish for."

  
Sarah rolled her eyes. "It's not like I really believed that you would come and take my little brother away. It was just a story."

  
Jareth tilted his head to the side. "A story was it?" He asked, then hummed. "I have a story for you, Sarah. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young girl whose stepmother always made her stay home with the baby. And the baby was a spoiled child and wanted everything to himself, and the young girl was practically a slave. But what no one knew is that the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the girl, and he had given her certain powers. So one night, when the baby had been particularly cruel to her, she called on the goblins for help..."

  
"Say your right words, said the goblins," Sarah finished for him then shook his head. "But it was just a story. A play I was acting. I didn't even believe it was real."

  
"Perhaps it was just a story to you," Jareth began as he dropped his eyes down to his folded hands. "But it was real for me."

  
Sarah rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Don't think I buy that for one minute, Jareth, Goblin King. I saw with my own eyes how many people you have enslaved in your Labyrinth. How many sisters wished away their little siblings only to believe your pretty lies and become your slaves? Did you fall in love with all of them too?"

  
Jareth did not look up from his hands as he frowned. "Perhaps I did, or maybe I didn't. A king has to find ways to keep their kingdom growing. I am just as beholden to the laws of The Underground as any of its other inhabitants."

Sarah frowned as she watched Jareth. "So what happened to them? Your passion for them grew cold, and you discarded them into your kingdom?"

  
"They did not love me," Jareth answered. "They loved the fantasy. They were all too willing to give up every part of themselves so that in the end nothing was left but a mere wisp of what they once were. They had no substance, no character, spirit, or fire."

  
"That sounds like a failing on your part if you were the one falling in love with them," Sarah pointed out.

  
"But perhaps I did not," Jareth said then went quiet as the waiter returned with their meal.

  
Sarah held back all her questions as she watched Jareth pick up his silverware and begin to eat. It was an odd thing for her to watch her nemesis, The Goblin King, do something so mundane as to eat. She would have never imagined that he would use a knife or a fork or have such pretty manners.

  
"So, what happened to them?" Sarah asked as she pulled her attention away from Jareth's table manners. "Tell me." Jareth put aside his silverware and wiped his mouth as he looked away from her. She knew he didn't want to tell her, but he had to know she would press on until he did.

  
"It is a requirement of my kingdom that if I do not already have one, I must take a queen from the world above. I am given ten years from one to the next to find another.

  
"They loved me, feared me, did as I asked," he answered coolly. "I made each one of them my queen as the law demanded, but they only ever last a year before drifting off into their own worlds in the labyrinth."

  
"And why the ruse?" Sarah asked. His sad expression made her curious, but she refused to be taken in by him. "Why not just find a woman, court her, then marry her?"

  
"Because that is what the law demands," Jareth told her as he finally directed his attention back toward her. "I was granted a stay against the law when you beat the Labyrinth and rejected me. Ten more years have since passed, and I must again seek a wife."

  
Sarah speared a piece of broccoli on her plate with her fork. "And do you have some innocent little girl in mind?" She asked angrily. "Which is sick by the way. I was sixteen years old. How old are you?"

  
Jareth sighed. "Sixteen is well within the marriageable age in my kingdom and not all my wives have been as young as you were then. In fact, you were more of an anomaly than a rule."

  
"Why me?" Sarah asked, and she was sure Jareth blushed as he again directed his gaze down to his hands.

  
"Why not you?" he returned the question. "You were a beautiful, whimsical girl. You fit the criteria, and I was correct. You took the bait."

  
"And I escaped," Sarah told him, and he bristled. "Were you angry?"

  
"Hurt," Jareth replied tartly. "I was hurt and lonely. I was not angry, however. I was relieved." He gave her a weak smile. "I was glad you were free that you escaped the fate of the others and that you would remain the Sarah I loved."

  
Sarah grabbed her glass of wine and took a long swallow. This conversation was making her view Jareth in a different light, and she didn't know if he was playing a game with her or being truthful. What she did know was that it was making her uncomfortable to view Jareth as someone who had constantly fallen in love and lost over and over again. It was just too sad.

  
"And as for why I am here," Jareth continued. "It has been ten years, Sarah. Ten years have passed, and I have not been able to find another potential wife or set the required traps. I have tried a few times, but..." He spread his hands apart.

  
"But?" Sarah asked.

  
Jareth lifted his head and held her gaze. "They are not you, My Precious. My Sarah. That is why I have come to ask for you to run the Labyrinth again and perhaps, this time stay." His words left a silence hanging between them like a thick unpenetrable fog.

Sarah didn't know what to say, but she did know what she should do. The world around her seemed like it was frozen in icy glitter as she stood. Even Jareth himself appeared to be affected by the enchantment.

  
"I'm sorry," she said. She could tell it was taking a great deal of effort for his eyes to follow her, and she hoped he could hear her. "But I cannot trust that this isn't another one of your traps. I don't want this. I don't want you. I'm sorry, Jareth." She started to walk away but forced herself to turn and see the look of utter devastation on his face. She moved around the table and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning around and leaving.

  
The moment Sarah was outside the restaurant, the world again resumed its motion. She noted the change and began to run. She needed to get as far away from Jareth as possible and home where she would be safe. She needed to talk to Hoggle who would tell her if Jareth's story was true and how to protect herself from the Goblin King once more.

\---


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah consults with Sir Didymus, Jareth broods, and a little goblin decides to take matter into his own grimy little hands.
> 
> Warning: Just a smidge of foul language.

 

Sarah was half a block away from Jareth and whatever fresh hell he had planned for her when she remembered who exactly she was, what she did, and where she was coming from. She grabbed her cell phone from her purse, took it off silent, and began scrolling through text messages.

Two were from her father asking how her talk went. Three were from her stepmother, Karen, one wishing her good luck, another asking how it went and the third worrying about why she hadn't heard from her. One was from her agent, and one was from Toby, which read, "Mom wanted me to text and make sure you're ok."

The last, and the most important text at the moment, given that Jareth had reared his ugly- Ok, well not so ugly, head in her life again, was from Hoggle telling her that he had been called back to the labyrinth to deal with a virulent fairy infestation. He had enlisted Ludo's assistance, and Sir Didymus would be at the apartment.

Her three friends, earned from her trial in Jareth's labyrinth, had grown extremely protective in the last year, never leaving her without an immediate contact. She now understood why. They must have known. She wondered why they hadn't warned her or even better yet why she hadn't questioned them about it.

"Shit," she whispered under her breath then dialed her agent as she made her way home. It was fortunate that Sir Didymus would be waiting for her rather than Hoggle. The gnomish gardener could not be counted on for reason when it came to the subject of The Goblin King.

"Don't like him. Don't trust him. Won't say his name," was Hoggle's motto. To Hoggle's mind, everything Jareth said and did was suspect, and while Sarah agreed with him, she also knew now that she was older, that few things in life were black and white. There were always shades of gray in between love and hate or good and bad. While the story Jareth told her this evening had the ring of truth to them, Hoggle wouldn't care. No inch would be spared for The Goblin King, ever.

Ludo could not be counted on for a reason either. It wasn't that Ludo was dumb; he was just incredibly loving and trusting. He was very loyal to Sarah, adored Hoggle, and called Sir Didymus, his brother. Ludo didn't have it in his tremendous heart to form long term enemies. As long as you weren't hurting him or his friends, you were his friend too. Jareth was his friend unless Hoggle was around to chastise him about it, and now Sarah knew Jareth had been taking advantage of Ludo's loving nature.

Of her three friends, it was Sir Didymus, who was the most pragmatic and reasonable. If she could pull his head out of his castles in the air and keep his feet on the ground long enough, she might be able to squeeze some real information out of him or even send him on a mission to find it.

Sarah finished her call with her agent, returned the texts to her family, and continuously looked over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't being followed by Jareth, or any of his goblin minions, and made her way home. Of course, she was being followed. She was always being followed, but she didn't know that.

\--

  
"My Lady!" Sir Didymus exclaimed as Sarah walked through the door. He put down the remote control (he had a fondness for police dramas), and waited while she locked the door then invoked the magical wards Hoggle had set up and demanded she use. She was suddenly very grateful for her friend's protectiveness. She doubted the wards could keep Jareth out if he was determined to get in, but at the very least they would give her a warning and time to escape.

"How did your presentation go? Did you enchant the entire crowd with your charm and loveliness?" Didymus asked as he peered at her from over the back of her couch.

Sarah took a deep breath and smiled at Sir Didymus. She dropped her bag to the floor, took three steps toward him, dropped to her knees, and put her arms around him. "I am so glad you're here," Sarah said as she rubbed her face into the blue velvet of his doublet. His arms went around her protectively, and she could feel the beginnings of a rumbly growl in his chest.

"Did he hurt you? If he did, I shall have no choice but to challenge him to a duel," Sir Didymus said as she rocked him from side to side.

Sarah shook her head. "No threats were made. It was only dinner and conversation."

"Only?" Didymus asked as he pulled back and searched Sarah's face. "And yet you are wearing his magic as if you bathed in it." Sarah grimaced as she tried to dust some of the glitter from her skirt. Unfortunately, the moment it hit the ground, it rebelled against its exile and returned to her clothing.

"Let me go change and take a shower," Sarah said as she tried to dust the glitter from one arm. "Once I get some of this shhhh..." She stopped. Didymus would lecture her on how she was a lady and should not use such language, and she needed to keep his attention on other matters. "Stuff off me, then we can talk."

"I will stand guard at your door," Didymus told her seriously. "Please be sure to ward not only your bedroom windows but your mirrors as well. Sarah gave him a nod then practically ran to clean herself off.  
\--

A hot cup of tea and a very serious Didymus were waiting for her when she returned. It had taken several of Hoggle's ward words and what seemed like a gallon of soap, but she managed to wash all but a few sparkles of glitter down the drain. The ones that remained clung to her cheeks with such stubborn determination that she had been forced to either scrub her skin raw or give up.

"What did he want?" Didymus asked as Sarah sat down at the kitchen table.

"What he always wants," Sarah answered then looked up at Didymus, hoping he would know and understand.

Didymus growled as he tapped his clawed fingers on the table. "Well, you are something we are not going to give him," he said firmly. "What else did he have to say?"

"Not a lot," Sarah answered as she traced the rim of her teacup with one finger. "Though he told me an interesting story. Maybe you can tell me how much of it is true."

Dittimus gave her a wry smile. "Jareth will always be tricky with his words, but he is truthful. Perhaps he exaggerates, but it is foolish to discard his comments out of hand. What did he tell you?"

"Nonsense about having to marry a human and that he must do so if he has been single for ten years or some other such nonsense. He says he has many wives who have left him and I believe he was about to propose to me when I escaped," Sarah said then watched Didymus as he processed the information.

"Truth," Didymus said with a nod of his head. "You would have become his bride, and Toby one of his minions had you not defeated him in the labyrinth. It is also true that he has had many wives. Some have lasted longer than other's, but they seldom stay for long. Whether it is as he says, and they choose to embrace the fantasy of the labyrinth over a life with him, I cannot say."

"He says that I have disrupted the cycle by defeating him. He hasn't found himself a new victim and has no choice but to pursue me," Sarah said, and Didymus laughed.

"Jareth could find himself a new victim with little effort. Your world is filled with young people willing to embrace fantasy, even more so in your technologically advanced world.

"It isn't that he can't. It is that he doesn't want to."

"Why?" Sarah asked as she spread her hands apart.

  
Didymus shrugged one shoulder. "You wrote the book in the subject, My Lady, I think you would have a better idea on the subject than I, a mere knight would."

Sarah rubbed her temple with one finger. "You're right. This is Jareth. For him, it is a game. It is always a game. He wraps his lies in the truth and then tries to win me through pretending to be vulnerable."

"I have reordered time," she said more to herself than Didymus. "I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you."

Didymus smiled. "Easy enough for him to do; it's his world to do with as he pleases."

"I can't believe I actually felt bad for him," Sara continued as she clenched her fists. "For one brief second, I felt bad for him. I am such a fool."

"What's wrong with feeling bad for him?" Didymus asked as he tilted his head, looking more like a Yorkshire Terrier than a valiant knight. "What does he have? He nothing. His life is not like yours and ours filled with love, friendship, and laughter. His is a life filled with darkness and bitterness. It is all glamour and magic with no substance. Everything you have is real, and everything he has is an illusion. I do feel bad for him."

Sarah opened and closed her mouth a few times and then frowned at Didymus in consternation before picking up her tea and taking a long sip of the now tepid liquid. She put the cup down then looked at Didymus as he reached out to touch her hand.

"Feeling bad for him doesn't mean you have to allow him into your heart, but understanding him does go a long way in defending yourself," Didymus continued then smiled his doggy smile.

"Yes, well," Sarah said as she put her cup down and leaned back in her seat. "I am just afraid of what he has up his sleeve and that I won't have any defense against it when I need it."

Didymus took her cup and put it in the sink. "You have me," he said. "And Hoggle and Ludo. We will always defend you and protect you. You have nothing to fear."

\--

  
Jareth grumbled to himself as he spun the crystal ball in his hand back and forth. He should have never allowed Hoggle and the others outside of his kingdom. If he had any idea that the damned dwarf was as well versed in magic and the creation of wards he definitely would have stopped him from visiting Sarah, probably.

"What's with the frowny face?" the goblin who was currently bouncing up and down on the footstool near Jareth's chair asked.

"I am dealing with the repercussions of my own foolishness," Jareth answered then looked up from the crystal ball to arch one eyebrow at the goblin who had shoved the ends of its braids into its mouth and was happily chewing on them as it bounced.

"Then undeal with it," the goblin suggested, and its braids fell from its mouth, and it shoved them back in.

"What that I could, Erlend," Jareth replied then peered into the crystal while closing one eye. "Unfortunately to undeal with the situation I would have to deal with, another which all of us would find rather unsavory."

"I likes unsavory," Erlend said as he stopped bouncing. "Sour garbage or rotten chicken." He patted his stomach and sat. "Buttons you don't like those thingies. You want me to eats this unsavory situation?"

Jareth snorted at the goblin who smiled at him with a sharp-toothed grin. "It isn't an actual thing that can be eaten," he said. "It is a who, what, and when sort of situation."

"Is about the pretty girl who beat your game, huh?" Erlend asked as his joyful expression turned sad, and Jareth sighed.

"Yes," Jareth said as threw the crystal ball in the air then watched as it popped like a soap bubble. "It is about that pretty girl who beat the labyrinth."

"Well," Erlend said as he scooted off the stool. "I thinks you should gets her and bring her home. She belongs here. What's stopping you? You're the kingity king."

Jareth blew out a long breath. "She won the right to her free will," he answered as he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. "I am not allowed to bring her here against her will. Even kings have rules they must follow."

"Well, that just fucking sucks!" Erlend declared loudly. Jareth's eyes popped open, and he looked the goblin in shock.

"If you keep using such foul language I'm going to forbid you from watching television," Jareth told him in a stern tone of voice though he was finding it difficult not to laugh.

"Uh, sorry. I likes foul things. You don't. I know," Erlend said as he bowed his head in contrition.

Jareth smiled fondly at the little goblin. "Well," he said as he reached out to pat Erlend's head, "I like you."

Erlend grinned at him as he watched Jareth stand. "I likes you too Kingity king." The goblin frowned as he watched the smile fade from Jareth's face.

"I'm going to sit by the pools and see if I can break through the wards and summon her image," Jareth said more to himself that the goblin.

"Okay," Erland said as he hopped back onto the stool and started jumping. He shook his head as he watched Jareth leave. He hated seeing his kingity king so sad. He sighed as he shoved his braids back in his mouth and began sucking on them.

It made him angry that his king couldn't bring the pretty girl home because of rules. If Jareth couldn't do it, maybe he could.

"Fuck the rules!" Erlend yelled then smiled when he wasn't chastised. He spent the next hour and a half jumping up and down on the stool chanting the phrase. When he finally got bored, he decided he had to do what Jareth could not.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The goblins devise a plan. Hoggle has a conniption fit.
> 
> Warning: This chapter contains mature language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This writer has spelling issues with names. I am trying.

  
Erlend the goblin hummed happily to himself as he skipped down the halls of the lower levels of the king's castle, still chewing on the ends of the braids in his greasy black hair. He bowed to several large goblins as he slid by then bounced into the den where most of his friends spent their time.

"I have a plannity plan plan!" he chanted as he danced around three goblins lounging on a big red pillow in the middle of the room. "It's a superity greaty plannity plan plan!

"Wot kinda plan you gots?" the biggest of the goblins, named Rodmar, asked in a deep voice as he watched Erlend bounce up and down on his toes.

"You know how sad Kingity king has been." Erlend began, and the three goblins all nodded as a few others in the room crept closer to listen. "I has a plan to make him happity happy again." Erlend ended a hop with a spinning flourish and grinned at Rodmar.

Rodmar shook his head and frowned. "King never really been happy, Erl. But, he is specifically super sad now. How you gonna fix?"

Erlend's eyes lit up with glee as he realized he had the attention of most of the goblins in the room. He puffed up his chest and shouted, "Well, he is saddest about the pretty girl who beat his game, right?"

"Yeah," Rodmar agreed as he nodded his heavy head. "But he can't do nothin less she decides to come here, which she won't cause stupid girl hateses him."

"So we saves Kingity from unsavory situation," Erlend began as he rubbed his grubby little hands together with excitement. "We go gets the girl! Fuck the rules!"

Rodmar hummed. "No rules say goblins can't bring her. Just King." He looked at the goblin beside him who was now grinning just as gleefully as Erlend who again began jumping up and down.

"You know where girl lives, Mondrad. You take us to her. We bring her home. Yes?" Rodmar raised his eyebrows along with the question, and Mondrad nodded his head eagerly.

"We must only bring pretty girl as far as the beginning," Mondrad said as he held up his finger. "Those are how the story 'sposed to go. Girl runs the labyrinth. King marries her at the end. Is will be the best way!"

"Fuck the rules!" Erlend cried out then spun happily as the crowd of goblins joined his chant. He led a merry dance around the room while Rodmar and Mondrad put their heads together and began to plan.  
\---  
Sarah and Didymus were deep into a game of chess when Hoggle stomped through the closet door which he had rigged up as a portal to and from the goblin kingdom. He stomped his feet on the mat and grumbled under his breath as he hung up his outerwear.

"How did everything go?" Sarah asked as Didymus wandered into the kitchen to make another pot of tea.

"Stupid faeries," Hoggle answered. "Decided to wage an attack on the eastern edge of the labyrinth. Cut down a huge hedge and bit all the little ponies on the behind. Had to round them up and treat their bites."

Sarah stood and helped Hoggle as he started taking off his boots. Dirt from the labyrinth had a few hours before it needed to go back to the labyrinth; otherwise, it would start talking and from there on out things would get really weird. Most people would have laughed at the thought of sentient dirt. Sarah knew it was something to fear.  
  
"Why did the faeries attack the ponies? What did they do?" Sarah asked as she slid Hoggle's boots into a canvas bag.

"Cause they's faeries. That's why! Vermin don't need reasons!" Hoggle answered as he waddled into the living room, plopped himself down on the couch and closed his eyes.

"I take it then that your extermination wasn't successful," Sarah said as she motioned for Didymus to bring in the tea."

"Oh," Hoggle said as he sat reached for the remote. "It was successful. Beat those little bit-" he paused and looked at Didymus then cleared his throat. "Beat them back well and proper. It was just a pain in the ass!"

Didymus shook his head as he put a mug of tea on the coffee table. "Watch your tongue in front of our lady," he admonished, and Hoggle rolled his eyes up to the ceiling.

Sarah took a deep breath as she rubbed her hands down the legs of her jeans nervously before she sat. Hoggle eyed her warily then turned to look as Didymus came to stand on his other side.

"What's this about?" Hoggle asked warily. "You ain't tryin to stage one of those intervention thingies like I watched on TV? Cause I ain't done nothin!"

Sarah cleared her throat to keep from laughing. "I wish," she said, and Hoggle frowned at her.

"If you will recall," Didymus began as he sat. "Lady Sarah's presentation was today."

"Oh!" Hoggle said as he sat up straight and turned to Sarah. "I forgot all about that. I'm sorry. How did it go?"

Sarah smiled and shrugged."They didn't chase me out of the auditorium with torches and pitchforks, so I would say it went well."

"Bet you was awesome," Hoggle said as he patted her leg. "Much too modest, you are, Sarah."

Didymus cleared his throat. "Unfortunately Sarah met with a complication, named, Jareth."

Hoggle growled as he stood and turned to Sarah. "What's that good for nothing, low life, son of a bi...scuit want? You sent him packing. Right?"

Sarah took a deep breath. "He came to see my presentation, and as a lot of my work has been based on him, I thought I owed it to him to hear what he had to say."

"What?" Hoggle yelled. "You ain't owing him nothing, Sarah. Nothing! He owes you! Remember that!"

"I know," Sara said as she tried to calm Hoggle. She knew bringing up Jareth was a bad idea, but keeping it a secret was worse. "You're right, Hoggle. I owe him nothing. I walked away from him. I am here now. I am safe."

"For now," Hoggle said. "But if he tried to talk to you, then he's up to something, I tell you." Sarah frowned and waited for Hoggle to calm. Didymus passed him a cup of tea and Hoggle took it gratefully.

"You know a lot about the laws of the underground," Sarah began as she clasped her hands together.

"That's a duh statement, Sarah," Hoggle said as he looked at her from beneath his heavy eyebrows.

"What do you know about Jareth, and this thing about him having to be married?" Sarah asked, and Hoggle rolled his eyes.

"Some stupid nonsense that is," Hoggle told her. "Jareth can't hold on to a wife. My sister is a testament to that." He shook his head and took a sip of his tea and Sarah looked at Didymus who was packing his pipe with tobacco which was a sign the knight was about to leave as he refused to smoke in Sarah's apartment.

"Instead of staying married to his royal pain in the ass, she decided to become a rock! A rock, Sarah!" Hoggle yelled as Didymus took his now empty teacup and took it to the kitchen. "Imagine how bad things had to be for her to want to be a rock rather than married to Jareth!"

Sarah knew that Hoggle's sister and her involvement with the goblin king was what drove his hate, but she didn't know the story behind it or what happened to his sister. The way Hoggle carried on, she had been sure his sister was dead. Well, if she was a rock now it was possible she was, though given the nature of the labyrinth she could be alive as well.

"If you both would pardon me," Didymus said as he patted his pockets like an elderly man making sure he had his glasses, keys, and wallet. I need to get home and check on Ambrosius."

"Thank you for staying, Diddy," Sarah said as he hugged her tight. "And thank you for being here when I needed you." Didymus bowed to her with a flourish of his hand.

"It is always a pleasure, My Lady. I will not likely be returning until the weekend. If you need me-" He let the statement hang, and Sarah smiled at him.

"I will send Ludo should I need you," she said, and Didymus nodded in satisfaction. He patted Hoggle on the shoulder then walked to the door, grabbing his feathered hat from the rack on the wall before bowing and bidding them both good evening.

"Fuckity, fuck, fucking bastard, fuck!" Hoggle growled as soon as the closet door closed, and Sarah shook her head at him as she chuckled.

"Sorry," Hoggle told her his expression filled with shame. "I just needed to get it out. That bastard! That four flushing, son of a bitch, bastard! How dare he show up after all this time!"

"You haven't asked what he wanted," Sarah said as she leaned back on the couch and put her feet in Hoggle's lap. He frowned at her pink and purple striped socks then looked at her.

"What did he want?" Hoggle asked as he lifted one heavy eyebrow.

"I didn't give him a chance to ask, but I am pretty sure he wants me to go back and run the labyrinth then marry him." Hoggle sputtered in rage as he threw Sarah's feet from him and stood.

"I'm going to kill him!" Hoggle yelled. "I am going to choke the ever loving life right out of him, and then I am going to bring him back to life and do it again!"

"I didn't give him a chance to ask," Sarah continued. "I walked away.

"Good!" Hoggle said as he started pacing. "I want you to run every time you even think you see his rat face. I should see to your wards on both sides of the labyrinth. He's probably been chipping away at them."

"Hoggle," Sarah said as she grabbed his hand and made him look at her. "I defeated him, remember? He can't make me do anything I don't want to do."

Hoggle sighed deeply and nodded his head. "I know that, Sarah. I know. But that don't mean you don't need protecting."

"He'll give up on me eventually," Sarah said. "I'm really not worried at all."

Hoggle made a rude noise and shook his head. "Those are some famous last words if I've ever heard them. Almost on par with, sayin', it's a piece of cake!"

Sarah rolled her eyes in exasperation as she slumped down on the couch. "All I have to do is avoid him," she said. "That will be easy." Hoggle made another rude noise, and she laughed.

Meanwhile, the closet door creaked open, and three goblins carefully slipped inside. They scurried around for a moment, and then each found a hiding spot to sit and wait for the right moment to put their plan into action.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Goblins put their plan in action and give their king a gift.

After telling Hoggle goodnight and seeing him out the door to the Labyrinth, Sarah walked through her apartment, making sure every window and door was locked and warded. She wouldn't have admitted it to Hoggle, but she had been skipping the nightly ward check.

Sarah made her way to her bedroom to begin her bedtime routine. She changed out of the tee shirt and sweatpants she had put on after her shower and into a pair of pink flannel pajamas decorated with cupcakes and a pair of slippers of Animal from The Muppets that Ludo had given her last Christmas. She had no idea where he had found Animal slippers, but he was so happy to give them to her that Sarah decided it was better not to ask.

In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth, washed her face, then frowned as she looked at herself in the mirror. She narrowed her green eyes and leaned forward as she spotted a few eyebrow hairs that needed plucking to keep them on fleek.

"On fleek," she said then chuckled to herself as she searched her medicine cabinet from for her tweezers. They were probably in her makeup bag in her bedroom, but she checked just in case in the hope that she could deal with the chore now rather than later.

"Nope," she said with a sigh, just barely missing the goblins who skittered across her bed as she pushed aside a face cream bottle to make sure the tweezers hadn't wedged behind it. She closed the cabinet then looked over her shoulder through the mirror at her bed.

When she left this morning, it was in disarray. The pillows had been thrown on the floor and the blankets and sheets bunched up at the end. She had also left several different outfits spread out over it. Someone, probably Didymus with the help of Ludo, had put away her clothes and made her bed. The only thing waiting for her to hang up was the blue suit she had been wearing earlier.

"Oh Diddy," Sarah said as she turned and walked into her bedroom, shutting off the bathroom light on the way. "You are entirely too good to me." She put the suit on her dressing table chair. It was likely covered in Jareth's magic glitter. The magic would fade by morning, but Sarah would rather take the suit to the dry cleaner, just to be sure.

Sarah turned down the blankets on her bed and frowned. Didymus had gone so far as to change her sheets as well. She looked around the room and shook her head. The knight liked to take care of her, and it was likely he had done her laundry as well. An inspection of her empty laundry basket proved her right.

"Karen thinks I'm a good housekeeper," Sarah said to herself. "Little does she know I never have to lift a finger." The last time her father and stepmother had visited, Karen remarked at how spotless Sarah kept her apartment.

"Nothing out of place and not a speck of dust to be found," Karen said proudly. "I wish your habits would rub off on Toby." Sarah had defended her brother by telling Karen that eleven-year-old boys by nature, were supposed to keep messy rooms. She wondered what Karen would say if she knew the real reason why Sarah's apartment was so pristine.

Sarah crawled into bed, grabbed a book from her nightstand, and snuggled down intending to read for a least half an hour. The next day was Saturday, and she didn't have to be up early and planned on sleeping in. She knew it was sad for a single woman her age to be in bed before ten on a Friday night, but she didn't care.

Her eyes blurred as she began reading. She blinked several times to clear them, then sneezed. She sat up and looked around the room warily. Sneezing was her first reaction to dirt from the labyrinth when it got stuck in the wrong realm. She sneezed again, which prompted her to sit up and looked around the room warily.

She threw off her blankets, put her feet back in her slippers, then grabbed a white glove from her nightstand. If there was any sentient sediment lurking in her room, running the glove across the floor should find it before things got out of hand.

"I wish I could use a vacuum cleaner for this," she said out loud. She only made that mistake once. The vacuum, having consumed the dirt, came to life and chased Sarah through her apartment until she had the bright idea of unplugging the thing. It had eaten her curtains and half a throw rug before she finally got everything under control.

Sarah dropped to her hands and knees and was sliding her gloved hand along the carpet when she noticed movement from beneath her bed. She froze. Either the sentient sediment had gone really, really bad or there was someone, or more likely, something under her bed. Their eyes were glowing, and there was only one kind of creature, that she knew of at least, whose eyes glowed.

"Goblins," she whispered as she sat up slowly as she wondered how it managed to get into her room. She needed to text Hoggle. Unfortunately, her phone was on her nightstand. To get her phone, she would have to walk over to the bed.

The last thing she remembered before everything went dark was taking off the white glove and throwing it on the other side of the bed in hopes of distracting the goblin.

\-----

"Gah!" Mondrad said as he slid the closet door open. "That took too long. You should have used more sleeping powder, Erl."

"Ayieee!" Erland said as he crawled from under Sarah's dressing table and pointed at her feet. "Mondrad! She got your mom and dad on her feet!" Mondrad grunted as he looked at Sarah's slippers.

"Dat your mom n' dad, Erland!" Rodmar laughed as he pulled a blanket from Sarah's bed.

"Doesn't matter whose! We gots her," Erland said as he jumped up and down on Sarah's bed, watching as Rodmar and Mondrad wrapped Sarah up in a blanket burrito style. Mondrad stretched his arms and legs then looked at Rodmar.

"You sure you can distract, Hogwart long enough to gets her into the Labyrinth?" Rodmar asked as he made sure the blanket around Sarah was secure.

Erland rolled his eyes. "His name is Hugbug."

"No," Mondrad said then laughed. "It's Hogbrain. I heard the king say it. What kinda name's Hugbug?"

Erland scowled at Mondrad as he took Sarah's feet while Rodmar lifted her by the arms. "Ima gonna make sure the next new goblin babe gets named Hugbug!" Mondrad snorted at him, and Rodmar shushed them.

"Now's not the time for fighting! We gots to get her past Hugbrains and to the start of the labyrinth," Rodmar said. "We gots to set off the alarm quick, so the king gets to her first."

"Okay. Okay. Okay, Bossy Roddy," Mondrad said. He smiled as Rodmar opened the door to the labyrinth. "Gots your bossy boots on."

"Ha! Ha! Bossy boots!" Erland chanted as he tried to bounce on his feet but stopped as he almost lost his grip on Sarah's legs. "Bossy boots! Bossy bossy bossy boots!"

"Shut up!" Rodmar hissed. "You's gonna gets us in trouble!"

"Bossy boots," Erland whispered to Mondrad who nodded his head.

\---

Jareth was not in a good mood, which wasn't saying much, as he was seldom in a good mood these days. Unfortunately, his mood had grown even worse as he sat near the pool, dangling his fingers in the pristine water and grumbling.

"Damned Hogdoggle!" he growled. "Damned dirty dwarf! I should have dipped you head first into the Bog of Eternal Stench when I had the chance."

Hoggle's wards had been recently strengthened to the point where Jareth couldn't even make out shadows in the thick gray mist as he tried to summon images of Sarah's apartment. He used to have a good view into her living room from the window and had made headway into peering into her bedroom.

Jareth had spent the evening trying to untangle several of the wards, but they kept pushing back on him, which made him wonder what magic Hoggle had access too. If the damned dwarf wasn't under Sarah's protection, he would have hung the creature by the heels until he confessed. As it was, Jareth could do little more than make Hoggle's life mildly difficult.

Eventually, trying to puzzle out the mess of Hoggle's wards gave Jareth a raging headache. He usually would have gone back to his room, ordered dinner, and went dancing with the people in his court, but their obsequious subservience held no appeal tonight.

He sighed as he thought about Sarah. She was more beautiful now than she was ten years ago. Had he known she would turn out so perfect, he would have waited a little longer. But then he wasn't known for his patience. In fact, he was so used to getting his way that he had to admit that Sarah's resistance had nearly broken his heart, probably more than nearly. Besides, if he had waited any longer it was likely he would have lost any chances as older humans usually didn't cling to the whimsical beliefs that allowed Jareth's magic to gain a foothold into their world.

"I am not going to give up," Jareth told the pool as it shimmered beneath his fingers. "I will find a way past those wards." And then what? He would watch her? He needed more than to watch her. He needed to bring her here sooner rather than later.

Just as he stood, and stretched, a little shiver of magic shot through him. The magic alarm rang in his ears like delicate chimes. A human was at the door of the labyrinth!

"What the hell?" Jareth asked as the tingle of magic poked at him with stinging force. There were no traps set. There had been no goblins sent to look for a new challenger. Had the magic taken matters into its own hands? He wondered what kind of person the labyrinth would try to choose for him as he made his way through the halls to the entrance. He doubted it could do better than Sarah, but he supposed he had no choice.

Jareth knew he could subvert the rules and send the runner back home, but if the magic of the labyrinth had overridden his rule, it would just keep sending people until he finally gave in. So it was, with a great sense of defeat and dread that he exited the labyrinth and walked through the garden that Hoggle tended so well.

He forced himself or at least tried to force himself, to let go of the dreams of Sarah's hair, Sarah's eyes, Sarah's beautiful face. He let go of the fantasies of dressing her as his queen, of riding with her through fields of flowers, of Summer picnics, Fall dances, Winter outings, and Spring celebrations. He let go of dreams of her laughter, of millions of witty conversations and funny banter. He let go of the dearest dream of all, holding her in his arms. At least he tried.

Jareth marched through the hedges, his anger growing with each step. Whoever this runner was, they would not be met with a charming, benevolent Goblin King. They would be met by a wall of ice. He would make it clear they were not welcome and hope that in so doing the labyrinth would reject them, but he knew it wouldn't. He still intended to send them back.

While he was unsure what he expected, it was not the sight of three goblins jumping up and down waving at his approach. He frowned, and as he drew closer, he recognized his favored little goblin, Erland and his brethren Rodmar and Mondrad. He wondered what they were doing and how they had managed to trip the magic alarms.

"Kingity King!" Erland called then bowed. "I gots you a savory gift! A savory thing for you to have from an unsavory situation!" Jareth's eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at Erland who was grinning from ear to ear as he did his usual goblin bounce. He swore Erland's legs had to have been made of springs, not bones.

"Looky! Looky!" Erland said as he shoved Rodmar and Mondrad aside to reveal a lump of blue and white blankets. "We gots you a gift!"

"What is this?" Jareth asked as he walked closer then knelt and pulled back the blankets as the three goblins squealed in excitement. He gasped at the fall of dark hair before brushing it aside.

"Sarah!" he whispered. How could it be? He unwrapped her from the strangling folds of the blanket. Yes, this was indeed his long sought after Sarah. She was so pale. So still! He leaned down to make sure she was still breathing.

"Come on, Sarah," he said as he jostled her. "Wake up!"

"Five more minutes, Hoggle," she moaned, and Jareth pulled away and let out a breath of relief.

"You know what I says?" Earland said to Jareth as he looked over his shoulder. "I says, Fuck the rules!"

"No rules says we can't bring her here," Mondrad said as Jareth opened his mouth to object.

"Rules say you can't. No rules say we can't," Rodmar added then nodded in satisfaction.

"You're right," Jareth agreed as he looked at the three goblins for a moment then down at Sarah. She was going to be livid when she woke and realized where she was. Jareth let his lips spread apart in a pointy-toothed grin. This time he was going to win.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah has a rude awakening, literally. Jareth is delighted. Hoggle is pissed. And, the game is afoot!

Sarah groaned as she tried to pull her blanket up over her head and roll over, but her bed had somehow become hard, and very uncomfortable. She opened one eye to find Jareth, The Goblin King peering down at her, wearing a devious grin and slammed her eye shut.

"It's just a bad dream, Sarah," she said as she struggled to pull her blanket over her head. "Just a really bad dream."

Jareth grinned as he pulled at the blanket back down and asked, "Do you often have dreams of me, Precious?"

"No! Because this isn't a dream. It is a nightmare!" Sarah growled as she fought to keep Jareth from pulling the blanket from her face.

"No, Love," he said sweetly. "It is a dream come true."

"Hoggle!" Sarah screamed as she sat up, nearly banging her head against Jareth's. She pushed him over, then stood. "Hoggle! The bastard has kidnapped me! Help!"

"Bastard! Bastard! Bastard!" Three happy little goblins chanted as they jumped around the garden, crushing a few of Hoggles carefully cultivated flowers in the process.

"I take offense to that title," Jareth said as he stood and began dusting himself off. Sarah ignored him as she as picked up her blanket off the ground and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"You have no right bringing me here!" she shouted as she wagged her finger at him. "I demand you send me back home!" She gave him an angry once over, then yelled, "Hoggle!"

"Oh dear," Jareth said as he looked Sarah up and down. He focused his gaze on her feet, then smirked. "It looks as though your feet have sprouted little goblin heads." He and the three goblins all laughed and Sarah shot him an angry look.

"They were a gift from Ludo," Sarah defended as she straightened her shoulders and began marching toward Hoggle's house. Jareth and the goblins followed, but she ignored them as she started pounding on the door.

"Hold on to your horses! I'll be there in a second!" Hoggle yelled from inside. Sarah ignored him and kept pounding on the door until he opened it.

"Wot you want?" he asked, then froze as he took in the sight of Sarah in her pink pajamas then looked over her shoulder at Jareth and the three bouncing goblins. "Oh shit! What the hell?"

"Oh shit is right," Sarah said as she pushed past Hoggle and made her way to the closet. "And I am not staying here." Hoggle moved aside for Sarah but stepped in front of Jareth and leveled him with a glare.

"You is not welcome here," he said, and Jareth arched his eyebrows at Hoggle then sighed.

"Fine, fine," Jareth said as he ushered the goblins back. "I'll just wait here then." His smile grew again as he heard a loud bang, a clatter of buckets falling to the floor, followed by a scream of rage from Sarah.

"Where is the door, Hoggle?" she yelled.

"It's right where it always is!" Hoggle called over his shoulder. He shot Jareth a withering look then slammed the door in his face.

"Well that was rude," Jareth said as he moved away from the doorstep. He looked at the three giggling goblins and tilted his head as he listened to the movement in Hoggle's house.

"What do you mean it's not there?" Hoggle yelled. "It was there ten minutes go!"

"Well, it's gone now!" Sarah hollered. "The only thing in this closet are a bunch of cleaning supplies." Jareth took a deep breath and began counting. He hadn't even reached twenty when Hoggle swung the door open and stormed out with Sarah close behind him.

"What have you done?" Hoggle yelled as he shook the broom in his hands at Jareth. "Whatever it is, it's against the rules. Sarah's got rights!"

"Actually," Jareth said as he brushed an imaginary mote of dust from his shoulder. "I am not responsible for this." He looked at Hoggle then smiled as the dwarf growled at him.

"I don't care," Sarah yelled at him. "Whoever is responsible needs to have it undone. Now!"

Jareth sighed and rolled his eyes skyward then stepped aside and gestured to the three goblins. "I would like you to meet my friends, Erland, Mondrad, and Rodmar. They are responsible for bringing you here."

"Hello, pretty girl!" Erland said as he bounced on his heels. "We says to ourselves, 'fuck the rules'. King can't fuck them, so we fuck them for him." Sarah's eyes went wide, and Jareth faced palmed at Erland's use of language.

"Erland," he began very kindly as he turned to the merry goblin. "What have I told you about using bad language?"

"Uhm," Erland said as he put one grimy finger to his cheek as he thought hard. His eyes brightened as he hit on the right words. "Not to?"

"Exactly," Jareth told him then patted him on the head and turned back to Sarah and Hoggle. Both were standing with their arms across their chests, looking like thunderstorms about to burst. It took an enormous amount of Jareth's self-control not to laugh.

"Sorry," Erland said as he bowed his head and kicked at the dirt. "I won't fucking use that word anymore." He paused then looked up at Jareth and grinned happily. Jareth closed his eyes and took a deep breath before composing himself and turning to Sarah.

"I am afraid these three brilliant, well-meaning goblins have found a way to subvert the rules," Jareth began. He loved the way Sarah's eyes sparkled with anger. "They are far more clever than they seem. It is best not to underestimate them."

"What you mean subvert the rules?" Hoggle asked warily as he looked from Jareth to the goblins.

"We kidnappeded the pretty girl all on our own," Rodmar answered smugly. "No orders or nothing. We brought her here and started the game. The game once started cannot be stopped."

"Oh, no! No, no, no!" Sarah shouted. "I'm not doing this Jareth. You send me back right now or-,"

"Or what?" Jareth asked, and Sarah sputtered at him.

Hoggle shook his head and growled in disgust. "I'm sorry, Sarah. They is right. They brought you here fair and square. You have to run the labyrinth or face the consequences."

Sarah rubbed her hand across her face then realized for the first time that it was covered in Jareth's magic glitter, and as such, now her face was covered in glitter. She growled and threw her blanket, also covered in glitter, off her shoulders and asked, "What does that mean, Hoggle?"

"What it means, Precious," Jareth said as he tried to move closer to Sarah, then stopped as Hoggle stepped in front of him. "That you have thirteen hours to run the labyrinth."

Sarah's face went pale, and she swallowed hard as panic welled in her chest. "Don't tell me they kidnapped Toby too!"

"No," Jareth said as he tilted his head and watched her. "If you lose, then you become one of us, forever."

"Forever! Forever! One of us forever!" The three goblins chanted as they danced around.

"And if I succeed?" Sarah asked as she lifted her chin. Jareth's smile sent chills running through her, and not the bad kind either, though she couldn't say that the chill followed by the warm feeling spirling through her stomach and between her legs was welcome at all.

"If," Jareth said as he turned and began walking through the garden to the entrance of the labyrinth. "If you succeed, then you will again be the champion of the labyrinth. You will be allowed to go free. Or, if you prefer, stay."

"And marry you," Sarah stated, and Jareth turned and looked at her with a sad, serious expression.

"Would that be so terrible, Sarah?" he asked his voice was soft and melodic, and it made Sarah's knees feel weak. She mentally admonished her knees for their betrayal then shook her head.

"I won't marry you, Jareth. Ever."

"Uh, Sarah," Hoggle said as he pulled on the sleeve of her pajamas. "If you don't win the labyrinth then you have to marry him. Thems the rules."

Sarah did not take her eyes from Jareth's as she nodded her head. "Okay," she said. "I see how this works. I won the labyrinth once before. I can do it again." Jareth's eyebrows arched with interest.

"It will be a piece of cake!" Sarah said, forcefully. Hoggle groaned, and Jareth threw back his head and laughed.

"Hey," Erland said as he bounced up to Sarah and pulled on the sleeve of her pajamas. "I like cake! Urinal cakes!" Sarah gave him a shocked look and Erland cracked up laughing and skittered away.

"Don't worry, Sarah," Hoggle said as he patted Sarah's arm. "I'll help you." He checked to make sure he had his keys then followed Jareth through the garden down to the labyrinth.

"Oh Hogshead," Jareth called in a sing-song voice as he stopped at the edge of the garden.

"The name's Hoggle," Hoggle growled as Jareth looked down at him as if he were a particularly nasty bug he wished he could squish.

"Oh yes," Jareth said in a bored tone. "It is, isn't it?" He chuckled to himself then knelt so that he was at eye level with the dwarf.

Hoggle gave Jareth a suspicious look. "I don't trust your smile, Jareth," he said, and Jareth's smile widened.

"If," Jareth began in a serious tone. "You think that I will allow you to help Sarah through the labyrinth then you are wrong. If you so much as offer her a cup of water in aid, I will turn you into a statue and place you dead center in the bog of eternal stench." Hoggle clenched his jaw in an effort to hold his tongue and keep himself from telling Jareth where he could shove his threats.

"She don't need me to get through the labyrinth at all!" Hoggle finally said. "She knows her way. I was just gonna keep her company."

Jareth arched one eyebrow at him. "Well, I cannot risk your interference, Hogdongle," Jareth said then snapped his fingers. Before Hoggle could so much as open his mouth and say one more word Jareth's magic silenced him.

"Jareth!" Sarah yelled as she watched in horror as Hoggle turned to stone. "Please! Don't hurt him!" She knelt and examined Hoggle, putting her hand on his stone face before looking up at Jareth hatefully.

Jareth snorted as he stood to his full height and looked down at Hoggle, the stone statue. "He's a statue, Precious. I assure you that he doesn't feel a thing."

"You are an asshole, Jareth!" Sarah yelled as she stood and poked her finger against his chest. "And I am going to defeat this labyrinth. Again. And when I do, you are going to free Hoggle, and I am going to make you wish you'd never met me."

"Oh Precious," Jareth said as he took her hand and pressed it against his heart. "I could never, ever regret you."

"Go to hell!" Sarah spat as she ripped her hand from his chest, then walked to the door of the labyrinth and knocked.

"For the last ten years, every day without you has been hell, Sarah," Jareth called as the door opened. He laughed as she turned and flipped him off.

"Oh Sarah?" he called as she vanished down the corridor. "One more thing."

"What?" she yelled back. Jareth paused for a moment as he enjoyed making her wait for him.

"What, Jareth?" she yelled.

"May the odds be ever in your favor!" Jareth called in mock sincerity. "Precious." He laughed as she growled in rage.

\---

"May the odds," Sarah grumbled as she marched down the labyrinth. "Be ever! Agh! I hate you, Jareth!" She knew Hoggle, and Sir Didymus loved watching television but as far as she was aware they were the only denizens of the underground who had access.

"Stupid, Hunger Games," Sarah continued to grumble out loud. "Really, Jareth? Really?" The image of Jareth with a bowl of popcorn, surrounded by a gaggle of goblins, while watching The Hunger Games was all too easy to imagine.

"Those little monsters probably thought it was a comedy," Sarah said the stopped walking, put her hands on her hips and looked around thoughtfully as she tried to remember her last visit. The labyrinth had changed slightly with a little more litter down the corridor and a lot more ivy hanging down the walls.

"I do remember this though," she said as she began smoothing her hand against the labyrinth wall. She found a hidden corridor then stepped through it and took a deep breath.

"This is going to be a piece of cake!" she said smugly as she peered up at the blue sky. She nodded her head to agree with herself then began moving forward without minding where her feet went, a mistake she would chastise herself for later.

"Aw for pity's sake!" she screamed as The Helping Hands stopped her fall. She sighed and shook her head then silently promised herself she would never say, "it's a piece of cake!" ever again.

"Up or down?" The Helping Hands asked happily as their iron grips bruised her arms and legs.

"Up!" Sarah told them then screamed as they hoisted her up and out of the hole. A few hands groped her in what she felt were highly unnecessary places as they passed her upward. She jumped away from them as they pushed her from the hole then looked around warily. She was going to need to keep her wits about her if she was going to do this again.


End file.
